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Chapter 35: The Aftermath

|Dream State|

As the oblivion surrounded Chenoa entirely, she found herself in a familiar realm. She sees that she is lying in bed in what looked like a royal bed chamber.

"Chenoa, wake up dear. If you don't wake up soon I can't send you back."

Chenoa, trying to wake up, looked towards the voice, and as her eyes focus she is shocked. "Peace!" Chenoa jumped out of bed and held Peace tightly, whispering, "I... I thought you had died."

"I did," Peace said comfortingly, "in the dimension that we were in. Listen Chenoa, we don't have long. If I don't send you back soon, I won't be able to. You will die there too. And then Heion won't have the mother she needs...

"Chenoa," Peace said with tears in his eyes, "Kodia, needs you." With that said, he stands and walks away. He can't bare to look into those beautiful eyes anymore.

Chenoa can feel the grief from Peace and she stands. Insticntively pulling the sheet around her, she walked over to Peace and put her arms around him, "Peace... Darlin, you know you have a special place in my heart."

Peace turned toward Chenoa, "I had to beg Sen'ou to let me see you. I have been so worried about you. And Sen'ou didn't want me to contact you because of my feelings." Peace looked into Chenoa's eyes once more. "Chenoa, mi amore, you must go back and you must go now, they need you... far more than I."

Peace placed his hand on Chenoa's face and kissed her. Surprisingly, Chenoa returned the intimate kiss. As she does she can feel herself leaving the peaceful dimension...

|End Dream State|

"Peace..."

~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, over by Sera and the prone body of Morgana...

The scene was just too painful for Sarah to take and she fell to her knees, feeling enormous guilt from the whole situation. Mars was there, shocked and shaking, to comfort her duaghter. She held her and tried to explain how to handle the pain and how to deal with such senseless death... How she had dealt with it.

During the monologue, Mars realized how much her daughter had seen and she wasn't even an adult yet. That made her hold her tighter and say, "Goddess you're so young..." then she looked around at Venus, holding Yahara with tears streaming down her face. Jupiter standing in the middle of the aftermath of the chaos, trying to sort through it all in her mind. Neptune, Uranus and Pluto had just arrived, taking a long time to take in the scene. Mercury was standing by Usagi, who seemed to be having a hard time controlling her emotions after learning of those that had died. And she saw Saturn over by Chenoa and Kodia and Heion... Little Heion...

"We were all so young..." Mars whispered sadly. She took a deep breath and said, "We all wish it would end... That is why we fight Sarah. To try and make an end... Because as ironic as it is... True peace has never been achieved without war..."

Sera felt liquid sliding down her cheeks as she listened to Sailor Mars. She spoke just loud enough for them to hear, "And there cannot be war without death... and tears..."

Tears. She remembered what they were now. She remembered how to cry.

"I remember... I remember being... human now..." Sera shut her eyes and let the tears cascade down her cheeks, no longer caring about anyone seeing her cry, "What's the point... Without Morgana, what's the point of living...?"

Sarah tried to console the former shade as her mother had done for her, but then she wondered if it was the right thing. In the end, all she could tell Sera to do was follow her heart... But Sera didn't know how to do that anymore.

"Void made us monsters." Sera explained, "He took away our souls, our minds, our free wills... and our hearts... Morgana was somehow able to hang on to all of that. I don't know how but... She was always so good, even before all this. It doesn't surprise me that she was like that...

"I'm not sure if I can follow my heart anymore... I'm not even sure if I have one..." Sera sighed and shut her eyes, trying to sort through all the depression and sadness laden deep within her mind. Trying to find either a true wish for death or the desire to live. She was not sure which one she would come across, but she was bound and determined to follow whichever incentive her heart told her to.

"I still don't know,"

Sera closed her eyes again, 'Morgana... help me... You were my heart...'

A bright voice filled her mind, familiar and comforting, "You have your own heart Sera... use it..."

Sera sighed and thought, 'Do I live... or do I die...?'

The answer came to her so quickly, Sera was never sure how she had arrived at her decision.

"I love you too Morgana..." Sera said softly. She opened her eyes and chuckled slightly and said one last thing before passing into darkness.

"You know... Romeo and Juliet never did appeal to me..."

~*~*~*~*~

Yahara slowly awoke, as if from a deep sleep. He slowly opened his eyes, looking into the tear and blood streaked face before him and he knew that something was wrong. Very wrong. He looked over to where a woman whom he had never seen before talked with Mars and Taurus. Yahara tried to figure out who this woman was, for there was something familiar about her. Her eyes showed the same desperation that the shades had had. Then something clicked within him and he understood.

"Mina... that's..."

"I know Yahara," Minako whispered softly, "I know,"

Yahara looked down at his hands and began talking about how he had changed. How desensitized that he had become from killing so much. In the end, he just squatted there in the dirt, staring at his hands... Trying to will the blood that wasn't there to just go away.

"It's a lie,"

Yahara looked at her for a moment like he wasn't sure what she was talking about, so she continued, "You are not desensitized to killing. If you were, you wouldn't be staring at these like the were covered in blood. Don't look so surprised. I know that look all too well...

"And as for not thinking about it... None of us ever do. I know that isn't a comfort at all, and it doesn't change things but... If you think too much it will kill you..."

"But not thinking about it... It's so--"

"Cold? Cruel? Hardened?" Minako aksed, cutting him off, "Yes it is." Then she went on to say that they were soldiers, and they had to do what they did. They had to turn off their emotions in battle because if they didn't, they'd go crazy. Then she reminded him of when he took the hit for her, and asked if he'd do that again... With other people. When he said yes without even thinking about it, Minako jumped on it.

"What if it hadn't been taking a hit for them? What if you had to kill to save that one person... Would you do it?" Minako didn't wait for him to answer and just said, "That's why we kill... To protect one person... and with them, the world...

"And as for... him... Was there any other way to deal with him?"

Yahara shook his head, "We exhausted our efforts to try and come up with another solution... We took so long... countless people--"

"Died."

Minako paused for awhile, letting all of the words sink in. She wished she were actually helping, but there was nothing she could say to make it go away... And she hated herself for it...

"There's nothing that I can say to make everything better... But... maybe my being here would help?"

Minako dropped his hands and leaned forward, cupping his face in her hands. Then she planted a long, lingering kiss on his lips, pouring every bit of love she had for him into it.

A few minutes, later she broke the kiss and whispered, "I love you... You say you've changed, but that hasn't... You're still the man I love more than my own life...

"Isn't that enough to make you stay sane?"

"Yes Mina. You're more than enough to keep me sane. All my life I wondered if I was worth anything; if anything I did mattered. And now I know. And if there was ever a reason to live, you are it. It is only because of you that I can sane, even if sometimes it seems you can drive me insane. And I'm sorry that I ever tried to push you away. I thought I could deal with all this alone, and now I know I can't without loosing my sanity and the one I love the most."

If only they knew.

~*~*~*~*~

And in another part of the area...

Usagi wearily let her transformation dissipate and returned the Crystal to her pocket. She stood and made her way over to Endymion. She yearned desperately to curl up next to him and lay her head on his chest, feeling that familiar sense of security and protection in his arms. However, knowing this would be inappropriate, she knelt beside him and placed his head in her lap.

She sat for a long time, and a few senshi paused and spoke with her. She quickly learned about the deaths of Narcissus, Nyx and Morgana as well as the circumstances surrounding these demises. She stared down at her love and wished she could cry, but for the first time in her life she can't. She felt small and vulnerable and not at all like a Queen, or even like Serenity. She always resented that she can't shed Tsukino Usagi. No matter how hard she tried, she never quite succeeded in anything.

She thought back through all her battles..She has saved so few. Her centuries of efforts seem to have made such insignificant differences. How many beings have lost the chances they chances they deserved because of her? And it's all because of her insipid obsession with love and justice.

Somehow forgetting what was done to Narcissus and Morgana, Usagi only remembered that Chenoa mercilessly anihilated Nyx. She forgot that Nyx tampered with the woman's daughter. She forgot the broken woman crying out in regret and healing beyond her capacity. She could only think that Chenoa's temper was too quick and her answer to everything was violence.

"Where is the justice in that?!" she snarls as she springs to her feet, speaking to Mercury. "I tried so hard to work this through smoothly, and I could have but for one foolish woman! Let me tell you something, Ami-chan. Chenoa will learn a little patience and restraint if I have to wring it out of her wretched excuse for a head!"

With that, Usagi actually lifted Mamoru off the ground and physically carried him to the shuttle.

Ah the wonders of adrenaline...

All the screaming woke Sera up and she found herself being carried by Minako and Rei, having heard every single word. The former was frowning distasefully and muttered, muttered, "Geez, did she have to say that now? Yahara feels guilty..." Minako sighed sadly and began berating herself, "Goddess, why didn’t I just dodge the stupid thing?! Why didn’t I hit her with that first shot... She would have just been wounded and then we could have healed her!"

"There’s nothing you could have done." Rei said sadly, "But I know how you feel... I shouldn’t have just stood there! At the very least I should have pushed my own daughter out of the way! Morgana wouldn’t have leapt in front of the blast if it were only me,"

Sera shook her head, "She would have... Morgana would never have let anyone be hurt and not try to help. I know that now... And as for feelings of guilt, I feel them as well... more deeply than anyone. But all of our wounds are deep."

Just then Usagi's voice carried across the area once more as she screamed at her now awake husband, "I'll tell you whats WRONG! Everything went wrong here because one stupid woman couldn't see past the end of her own NOSE! The shades were HUMAN! Three of them lost their lives because Chenoa had to rush into this and use violence as the solution. Well, if she can't learn from her mistakes, then I'll MAKE her!"

Sera hissed darkly and growled, "How can she say that? Chenoa did us a world of good! Nyx probably attacked her daughter or husband or threatened her own life! Good Lord, how hypocritical could your ruler be?! Yes, she may need to learn some more restraint, but come on who doesn’t?! Both of you lost your heads out there too didn’t you?!" She hissed yet again, this one louder, attracting the attention of those near by. Minako and Rei exchanged a nervous glance, and Sera took that opportunity to elbow them both in the gut, causing them to stagger back slightly at the surprise of it all. Then she kicked them both in the face, sending them even further back and causing the others to look in their direction.

Sera had not exactly been virtuous and kind as a human being.

Minako and Rei were more than a little perturbed, but they were also slightly concerned that Sera was running to the shuttle, thinking she might hurt the queen.

But that was not Sera's intention oddly enough. No she only wanted to yell at Usagi.

"You may be the queen, but that doesn’t mean you’re always right!" Sera snarled when she entered the shuttle, "Nor does it mean that you have the right to judge others! Don’t you see what’s going on? You’re losing your temper because of Nyx! He was a drug dealer! He took the lives of high school students for God’s sake and he never shed a tear!

"Oh, and do you care to know what Narcissus was? A con artist. She spent her entire life swindling people who didn’t have that much to begin with out of their life savings! She destroyed lives! S he didn’t hesitate to take them, even by her own hand!

"Bauchus was a bouncer at a seedy club. He let underage kids who were obviously so in... They died, or they’re on the rode to death. And personally, I think when he wasn't doing that he was a hit man for God's sake! I've seen him take money for beating people up anyway. His life was spared so he can go right on doing it... I think you oughta re-think that.

"And I was just a junkie, and Nyx's best customer. I was living off things I stole from just about anyone I ran into, including what little family I have ocntact with. I was addicted to every drug under the sun... Cigarettes, heroin, E, coke... you name it, I used it.

"Morgana was the only decent ones in the whole group, and Circe just committed small sins that will never get her into a hell. All she did was look away while we killed ourseleves and stole to survive! There's no crime there. The only reason Morgana even knew us was because she was trying to get us all out! And if her death should be blamed on anyone, it should be me! Not a woman who healed us all and felt remorse for her actions. Expecially since remorse was a concept lost on me and the others for a long time...

"None of us were saints... We were taken in by Void, and we had to be stopped... If Nyx hadn’t been killed, God only knows what would have become of that little girl even I feel pity for because having to see what she’s seen today... And because I doubt this is the last battle she will be see in her lifetime... And if Narcissus hadn't been killed, you might be short two warriors and one talking cat.

"What would you have done if your child, your husband, or your friend was in danger because of one of us? Would you have let them be hurt or die, just to preserve a few meaningless lives that destroyed more than you could imagine...? What would you have... done..."

That was when the adrenaline rush wore off. Sera collapsed into Minako, who was standing behind her listening to every word. She sighed and laid Sera down in the back seat, motioning for everyone else to sit down so they could leave.

And then, all with heavy hearts and a lot on their minds, the shuttle departed...

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